The garden in my soul..

Today I said fuck this garden. I didn’t mean it but now all the blossoms on my cherry tree have fallen. Maybe it was me, maybe it was this hot as hell green house that reached over a fucking 100. Well I will never know and I will also not have cherries.

The new green house is up. These below in the picture are all the extra pieces in case anything flies off or gets lost.

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Jk there are all the pieces I didn’t know where the hell they go so fuck it. It’s a bag full but the instructions were complete crap. Literally a picture with over a hundred numbers. Some of the holes to put the screws in are missing or an inch away from ware they should be. I had to drill them myself. I know I could have sent it back, but I was half way through and I’m a handy bitch so holes I made. Lesson learned though I will never again buy a knock off Harbor Freight green house to save 200 dollars. You know what I will, 200 is a lot and I’ve done this once and succeeded.

I don’t know how people could grow food in Alaska. I can barely grow leeks in California winter. Well I did grow like five things but I’m watching shows and their growing berries, lettuce, sunflowers, tomatoes, onions and fucking orange trees! In the snow! I’m pretty sure I grew my first brussel sprout tree thing. It looks like it, but the stem or trunk is crooked as all hell so I’m not sure, but I am sure it looks like tiny brussels are coming off the sides. So, I am just going to say it I planted a crooked brussels sprout tree and it’s the cutest most prize piece of my garden today. Tomorrow I probably won’t care anymore. Something new will sprout and I’ll lose my mind again.

fvffg

My neighbor’s cat, he’s a large grey cat with no tail weights about 20 lbs. came into my garden and dug a hole like he was trying to reach the center of the earth. He didn’t even shit in the garden he just dug out every single melon seedling. He didn’t discriminate all honey dew gone, watermelon gone and the unlabeled seeds that looked like melon seeds gone. I really can’t believe this trash. (I’m working on my cussing it’s a long process) I sprinkled salt, put jars of water out to scare him like every one of my hard core Mexican tias and neighbors swear by. His family is white he clearly doesn’t give a shit about Mexican garden voodoo. That is until I summon the Chupacabra and the CuCui to handle this fur monster.

I’ve been watering these flower seeds I got last month. Its this cute mix of tons of pink flowers. I only ever do sun flower so these flowers I’m excited about. There not sprouting at all. Yet the strawberry plant I let die in the back of the green house who just so happened to get a sprits of rain water one time two weeks ago it already growing a baby bush. I added more seeds, more water and some mulch. I thought maybe the soil was getting dry, I don’t know. There in the rain gutter garden. I love it its cute but I feel like something is stealing all the water I put in there if that makes any sense

I walked across my yard in my new crocs and stepped all over shit again. Ugh. Now I know why every time I walk my dogs I see signs in yards “I see you and your dog your on camera now”. As soon as those signs went up I noticed shit all over my yard. That person must have changed their route and now the shit stop is my house.

ugh.

My cat Big Grey Al being a model

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Pepperchini pretending to be interested in the new greenhouse building supplies. The green house after the wind blew it apart (I put the pieces to hold the panels in wrong)

Sprouts of complaints

I want a garden like that song “with or without you” You know a garden that grows with or without you. An independent garden that looks at you and says “Pshhhh I don’t need you. I’m an independent garden” “I’ll grow on my dam own fertilize and weed myself, fuck you if you think I need YOU. You need me” And I would nod and say yes. Yes, I need you don’t go. Where would I be without you? I just mowed my lawn and its huge again. I was walking around and boom I lost a croc. I always told myself crocs were for the garden only and I would not walk out my house with them on onto the streets. But I spend so much time in the garden forgetting stuff going back to the store to retrieve and kicking cat shit into the street (can’t do that with regular shoes). Neighbors caught me this time my excuse is it’s your fucking cat! Buy it a litter box like a regular cat. He’s not special!! the world isn’t his litter box Jan. Its Margret, Linda or something I don’t remember its been years since I pretended to want to get to know my neighbors. Anyway, going back to crocs. Crocs are life and a staple of my wardrobe now. I don’t even know what laces are anymore.

I saw a blue faced chicken on Instagram today. I was already creaming myself that something so amazing and magical exist.  I’m assuming it’s like that blue watermelon seeds I found on eBay. Those of you who deeply know me know I will fucking buy those again. Its about trial and error maybe just maybe I didn’t fertilize it enough to turn blue who knows. Maybe I need a gold shovel to make the garden magic work. I don’t know, but I will figure this out I want blue dam melons.

I go to this hydroponics store a lot almost once a week. I think they thought I was growing mountains of weed. For example- store guy: “for nice buds use this, for maxim buds here and for taller trees this pack”. “Everyone uses liquid but give solids a try you won’t regret it, Oh and this is perfect for cloning plants you’ll have buds in no time”. Me: “hmmmmmm does that work for tomatoes to? and my radish looked like dry ass ball sacks. What can I do for that? I also have these pictures of these porn star status zucchini and cucumbers I grew with the products you recommended last year thank you”. Btw super impressed with my giant ass zucchinis and cucumbers and now they know I’m growing vegetables.

This random rain is really pissing me off. I don’t understand how one day I could be burning alive in my garden and the next day I can’t step any ware without rain assaulting my face. I’ve been saving worms from puddles all freaking day. I should get a medal my fingers are cold prune tips. There is a reward though I toss them all into my leaf and eggshell compost pile and that dirt has been amazing year after year.

In closing.

fuck my neighbors cat.

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someone ate a lizard and puked it up

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