The imposter.

All raised beds are ready. I’m going to layer my dirt then start sectioning off with cotton cord and small nails. I figure after I section off add plants remove cording, I could use the cord and nails to make a little DIY trellis for the plants to crawl up on if needed. I’m moving plants closer together this year. I’m stapling this lil green trellis on as well. I was going to go all out and do the whole chicken wire cover so my dogs don’t jump in but I don’t have that kind of patience at the moment. I’m taking 17 units this semester and its killing me. I will staple, glue and throw fairy dust whatever needs fixing right now.

I found this trunk in a storage locker I bought and I was going to refurbish it. I left it in the rain and the lid got super warped. I was going to dump it along with the tree I chopped down then I looked at it, really looked and thought artichokes plants would look so fucking cute hanging out of it if it were painted gold <3. So I painted the trunk gold. I know I should have sanded it down first but I wanted the authentic I fought a family of raccoons next to prostitutes in an alley for this trunk look.   20160127_133345

I also have this chair that’s just been siting there withering away. I looked at a few garden chairs on google images and decided I would just cut out the bottom and replace it with a burlap piece. I used thick scissors to cut the wicker seat out and tack nails to hold the burlap in place. I then placed soil in the burlap and watered it to make sure it would hold. It held pretty fine no complaints. I put flower seeds I was going to buy flowers but decided I wanted to do from seed to finish this year.

On a side note I share this with tears in my gardening soul……….

I’ve realized I’ve been providing fertilizer and heat for a weed for the past three months. This imposter has been sucking up my nourishment like a baby to a mother’s teat. I thought I planted strawberry seeds, well I did. This plant grew so fast compared to the rest, I was so proud de-weeding its soda bottle home (pretty much killing its cousins) measuring its wonderful growth compared to its siblings, who btw are real fucking strawberries. Last week while watering it my finger hit the weed and it stung me I thought maybe it’s a defense mechanism against not fully mature plant eating monsters. I don’t know how I confused the two they look waaaaaayyy different. So I officially have snipped it, rid myself of the roots and started strawberry seeds again. The weed could have grown due to the fact that I reused soil. So far the only weed to grow out of reused stuff but the garden beds haven’t sprouted anything unwanted yet. On other news my cilantro plant is budding with flowers to provide me with seeds. I have made tons of salsa and garnish plenty of plates with this one plant I’m really excited to start seeding it. It will be my first time collecting seeds from one of my plants.


The REAL berries (see the size difference)

Cleaning my life.

Nothing to exciting today just going to clean my growing space. I hope my before and after pics are so dramatic and amazing that the bitches at Better Homes and Garden all cream their panties simultaneously. I really want to buy a chicken or maybe build some stairs. I don’t have a two story house or anything but stairs to no ware eventually lead to some ware. Maybe a cloud will stop by and be like whoa are those stairs? this garden is fking fantastic so fantastic I’m am going to rain on it all day and ruin your life! fuck your heirloom tomatoes. No cloud….fuck you dot exclamation point dot dot

As I cleaned today I noticed a lot of worms coming out of the ground. I scooped the worms up and put into a bowl. I usually feed them to my koi but today I will be tossing them into the dirt that I have taken from all the raised beds and pots. (This is old dirt I’m going to reuse)

I was going to add nutrient pellets to my dirt but as I poured my pots out and scooped the raised beds I noticed tons of worms and bugs had broken down all leaves and mulch from last year. I’m taking that as a sign my dirt is pretty dam good. But I will be mixing in some compost I started last year unintentionally. In other words, I raked leaves and piles grass clippings into one area I kept saying I would toss into the street on road cleaning day never did. In return I got beautiful dark compost.

I look for signs of repair needed on my raised beds. I did an extremely shitty job on them the first time so will see how this second round goes. My stevia plant is clinging for dear life in the dirt in one of the beds so I removed it put in a pot in the green house. While shoveling out the dirt into big tubs I find a clump of roots with tiny leaves. I don’t remember what it is but I will give it a fighting chance and move it to a pot as well.

I took apart two of the raised beds the third one seemed to be in tip top shape. I used a drill and screws this time to put them together instead of nails. Not going to lie I feel like such a fucking lumberjack, carpenter right now. I really do feel like I could put up a fence and build a dam house out of any piece of reclaimed wood. For now I will stick to raised beds and bunny doors and the occasional piece of wood I randomly nail to something because I’m a crafter and crafters do shit that. That’s really all for today literally took me hours to clean my dogs mess and try to locate my bunny’s holes.

Pictures from top to bottom to middle then side

Found my cookie sheet finally I don’t know how it got there. Next two pics just my mess from my pretend gardening last year after the sun and bunny combined killed my crops. Beginning gardening super serious later gardening crying into dry plants. Unlike  Tangled’s princess tears mine did not bring them back to life lol (you can see my raised beds falling apart). I love this main grinder garden bed ❤ my life partner found it in the freaken trash at work looked amazing with sun flowers last year. It will hold carrots this year. Middle bottom is my hammer and screw I’m officially a builder of things. Final is finished garden beds with soil I will be adding more once I get ready to transplant and compost in the huge wooden box that was also found in the trash heap.

Get ready…look who woke up!! nearly lost my marbles when I entered the green house.


Its a round carrot, package said container carrot.