I’m back like Freddy

I should be searching for next semester classes but instead I’m explaining to my coworker how Instagram makes me self-conscious about my garden. It’s weird I read articles’ all day about how it makes people body conscious, but instead of questioning why Jenny rack is bigger than mine. I’m over here like are these carrots fucking real? How much illegal fertilizer are they using to bloat up those fat ass squash. What color green is that? is that paint?

It rained today btw (it’s been raining while I sleep for days). I went outside and held out my hands to moisten my inner sea witch. My summer garden is still clinging to life as winter takes ahold of my soul. I didn’t think they would make it this long, but the frost is barely coming. Today actually was the first day a light frost came over the lawn that magically grew in my front yard.

 I have tried to make tomato sauce almost 10x already and have not succeeded.

I cleaned out one garden bed ware my pile of malnourished radish and forgotten carrots laid. Summer just wasn’t my summer for variety. I over planted tomatoes and they took up the whole garden stealing sun from any plant I dare put within 2ft of them. I bought a miscellaneous chili plant and I can’t figure out what the hell it is. It looks like a baby tree and offers a great bounty. All the chilis look like un-circumcised dicks. So overall, I had eggplant, tomato, my chive scrap garden, water melon, honey dew and random chilis. I guess that’s ok. I really wanted my radish to come out, but another year of none.

Last year I had butterflies and lady bugs up the ass. This year I haven’t seen crap except dirty moths and aphid dicks all over the garden. This must be why I only grew one melon. 1 beautiful melon the most beautiful melon I’ve ever seen. Three melons in all grew but I didn’t notice the other two. They hid under the tomato plant and gophers ate them. Even as they lay cracked open their sweet smell filled my nostrils. I bet that gopher would taste just as sweet cooked on an open flame.

Less cussing working on myself <3. Jk. Just couldn’t fit fuck any ware.

I find it crazy how they barely move but do so much damage.

I had tons of spiders this season. Fancy lil striped leggings