watering the garden with my tears
I haven’t looked at my garden in weeks. I know, disgusting what type of gardener am I? Well one who lives in CA and we have been blessed with so much fucking rain. Everything is muddy, so I don’t have to worry about watering. Also, by the time I’m out of the office the sky... Continue Reading →
It is very rare that I get to visit Half Moon Bays Garden strip. I wanted a carnivorous plant and seeing them online wasn’t going to do it for me. You find a plant online, the pictures are beautiful! Then it comes in the mail and what the fuck wtf is this? I’ve gotten the... Continue Reading →
I wanted to do a goth garden this year, black flowers, black leaves, and black planters. The only thing goth about my garden is everything is dead. My giant gladiolus was supposed to be black flowers, I even paid extra, and they are bright fucking red. So goth garden in process….I will add as it... Continue Reading →
I wanted a garden this season. I really did, it started out fine. I grew lettuce up the ass, three whole purple cabbage and sprouted tons upon tons of seedlings: carrots, onions, radish, cucumbers, peas, tomatoes, squash all of it. Then the city tree that lingers above my garden decided to have the biggest infestation... Continue Reading →
The city came and cut the trees. I was excited, this brings so much sun into the side yard where most of the garden is supposed to grow. A small branch fell on my glass table and it broke. Not only did it break all the plants on the table. A branch fell and tossed... Continue Reading →
I did like Brittany Spears today and “I worked bitch” digging up garden beds mixing soil before the rain comes and drowns my soul. I am excited! always planning my garden life, over imagining the fruits of my labor. This year I will not count my chickens before the eggs hatch because there is still... Continue Reading →
I think I finally did it. I left something in my front yard long enough for someone to steal it. My life partner Paul told me to stop leaving stuff out. But as the main food grower in this house I do what I dam want. So now my heavy duty loopers are gone (those... Continue Reading →
I’m sitting here watching murder shows on I.D. rain hitting my windows, wind blowing more leaves into my yard. Every time I step outside something blows into my face. Example: yesterday a plastic bag tried to suffocate me. Everything is over wet. There’s mud every ware, my lawn is to my knees and I can’t... Continue Reading →
I should be searching for next semester classes but instead I’m explaining to my coworker how Instagram makes me self-conscious about my garden. It’s weird I read articles’ all day about how it makes people body conscious, but instead of questioning why Jenny rack is bigger than mine. I’m over here like are these carrots... Continue Reading →
Today I said fuck this garden. I didn’t mean it but now all the blossoms on my cherry tree have fallen. Maybe it was me, maybe it was this hot as hell green house that reached over a fucking 100. Well I will never know and I will also not have cherries. The new green... Continue Reading →
Gardening With This Bitch 